Surrender Your SOUL!

Scott: … and once again Kenny (Williams)/Jerry (Reinsdorf) are holding the fans hostage, saying that they can’t make a deal due to low attendance. Yet Jerry wants to buy the Phoenix Coyotes?

Wow, I feel like they are speaking to me personally… Who wants to go?

Fuck them!

Andy: Take a deep breathe. It's gonna be okay, little Scottie.

Fred: Go Sox! I love their fight!

Neil: Fred liking the White Sox "fight" is like saying plants require carbon dioxide to conduct photosynthesis.

One injury away from a third place finish...

Fred: Yeah sure, and the tough second half may bring them down anyway, but at least they’re playing above expectations and generating some excitement.

Neil: The 2009 Chicago White Sox: A pubic hair's length above mediocrity. There are traditions... and THERE ARE WHITE SOX TRADITIONS!

Andy: I vote for (Jim) Thome to get injured. Then (Carlos) Quentin can DH.

Fred: I loooooove this team.

Andy: I don't know if I love them, but I've enjoyed watching this team the last few weeks. Scottie Pods is a gift from the baseball gods, but I'm not complaining. Alexei (Ramirez) is hitting well. The old-slow-vets are having solid old-slow-vet years. And Gordon Beckham is doing a nice job mitigating the mediocrity* at the backend of that lineup. * Gordon Beckham: Mitigater of Mediocrity™

Neil: Quentin will be trade bait for (Roy) Halladay.

Andy: The Toronto Blue Jays are more likely to ask for Beckham. Not gonna happen.

Neil: And that’s exactly why it’ll be Quentin that’s dangled.

Andy: What if we threaten to send Frank Thomas to sit on J.P. Ricciardi's face? I think Frank would be up for it. Then we trade them Bartolo) Colon.

Neil: Isn’t Colon still missing?

Andy: God, I hope so.

Neil: I heard he was on his way to Arizona to get a tummy tuck but he fell face first into the Sarlacc pit. Hopefully that whole "thousand years to digest" thing is true...

Andy: I'm pretty sure he's in hiding because he shot Steve McNair.

Fred: Or ate his remains.

Neil: Michael Jackson and Colon switched bodies! He's going to reappear as a zombie in Triple-A doing the moonwalk from first to third!

Fred: I loooooove this team.